The Journey We're On...

seven things you just might not know about me...

2007-05-27T00:46:00.000-06:00

Well, it looks like I've been tagged by my dearest roomie Erica... Really it's a good thing cause it's about time i updated this thing... Ok, here is goes...

7. My favourite colour is purple... that deep, almost navy/purplish colour... although i don't own any clothing in this colour and have viritually no items displaying this colour, when I see it in a picture or painting something in me really enjoy's it...
6. i dream if being a hippy... of living in the country and living off the land, and riding my bike, and not really working cause i don't need to because everyone in the little community i live all helps each other... really it will be bliss...
5. i really only look at blogs with pictures... which is funny cause i rarely put pictures on mine...
4. i took piano lessons all of my growing up years but now feel like i have lost most of this ability which is unfortunate cause I was actually kinda good...
3. i worked at taco time... not for very long... it wasn't my favourite job in the world... but i do have to say before i worked there i didn't like there i didn't like the food at all and after i worked there i did... isn't it suppose to work the other way around???
2. I really am not too fond of animals... i would like to have a fish... and if a dog is well trained then i think i kinda will like it... but the thought of having many animals run around my house just doesn't appeal to me...
1. and finally, i am making a bit of a life change in the next while and have decided to go back to school... as of this fall i will no longer work at the most wonderful organization on the face of this planet (much to my sadness)... instead i have decided to join the ranks of many and wander the campus of the university of saskatchewan... my goal right now is to become a teacher... and the more i think about it the more i am very, very excited...

so there you go... i don't expect many people still read this considering that i update like every 3 months... however i do wonder which of things surprised you...

oh and now i tag oliver (or dana), matt, cam, simon, brendan, and evan... basically the dalmeny crew...

Can I tell you how much I hate this new way you have to sign in to blogger.... uuurrrggghh.... i'm annoyed....

2007-03-04T22:04:00.000-06:00

Ok, I feel like I have ranted enough in the title of this post as to how dumb it is to sign into this thing... geez, do they not want people to post anymore... cause I won't... no let's be real.. it's all hollow threats and we all know I would, and it wouldn't have been so hard if I just would have remembered my password... so, really, it's my fault... ok, bloggers not dumb, I am... are we all happy now...

Alright, this is what happend when you spend Sunday evening at home alone trying to avoid cleaning your room. You kinda go crazy... so sorry about that...

But I thought I should update a bit cause I haven't in a while...

I started to think about Africa the other day. There is a plethera of reasons I began to think about it really, it could have been the international worship service I went to where the African's sang and danced like nobodies mother, it could have been thinking of my friends who in Africa as I type, it could have been having our AIDS cordinator at MCC this week and being able to talk and hear stories of this dear place, it could simply be that it is cold here and I wish I were in Africa where it is hot. It could be a number of things really but the bottem line is this place and these people have been on my mind lately.

I started telling Erica a story that happened when Carly and I were in Tanzania and I found I just wanted to keep telling story after story. I think I have underestimated the way my short little visits to Africa have changed me. So here are some of the things I miss about Tanzania tonight:

I miss...
* eating ugali and beans all the time
* wandering with no agenda
* standing in the kitchen visiting with Mama
* the sound of latisha, our sheep, when it was lonely
* going pee in a squatty
* listening to rap music that was blaring out of the store fronts
* laughing with Anna
* playing chasing games with the kids in kili
* hearing the voices of kids singing and getting shivers up and down my arms
* being hot and sweaty
* standing up in the back of the truck when we went to and from town
* going to the market
* trying not to reck the truck as I drove it through fields and so called roads in the serengetti
* going to church
* being able to take pictures at every turn
* eating freshly roasted peanuts and coffee and milk in the morning
* speaking the few words of kiswahili we learned
* the way baba and mama took us in as their own kids
* laughing, laughing, and laughing some more
* the smells and sounds of the city
* the sound of the rooster's early in the morning
* just being there

And I could go on but I won't so here's a few picture of that wonderful time...
Someday I will go back and let it change me some more....

The best game ever...

2007-02-07T23:42:00.000-06:00

Didn't want to stay up this late again tonight, but for some reason no matter how much I want to go to bed earlier I just cannot... nothing makes me want to crawl into my bed right now, so instead, I will update... I just got back from being gone a couple of weeks and have so many thoughts swirling around my head right now. All I can say is when peace comes it's a good thing. I will however tell you a little about my evening...

I had a full day of work and errands and ended up getting home just in time for Kids club. Two weeks away and I find myself really missing those little gaffers (how do you spell gaffers anyway??) So it all started with a bit of a game. I found a little toy, coralled them into one room, hid the toy in another part of the apartment and then told them whoever found it would get a prize... it was fun, for a few minutes and then the majority got bored and went off to do their own thing. But somehow Ali thought this was the best game to be invented. Ali, who usually doesn't really talk to you but would rather be roughhousing with his older brothers, this Ali decided he wanted to hide the toy. So he did and I found it, and he hid it again, and I found it. By this point you're probably thinking that I must be pretty awesome at this game, like the best finder ever, but no it was the simple fact that he was 5 and hiding it that gave it away, he practically just told me where it was. He would sit on it, or put his hand next to it, or tell me exactly which shelf to look on. And yet every time I found it it was as great as if I had been looking for hours. At once point he hid it and then forgot where he hid it and we looked and looked but to no avail... this time he didn't hide it on the shelf he had hid it on for the last 8 rounds of the game... It was great fun...Ali and I hung out all night... it was good quality time... we made a sweet fort and big race track... all in all a successful night.

Now not that I have these deep thoughts alot during silly moments in life but tonight as I was playing this 'hide the toy' game with Ali I wondered it this is a little bit of how Jesus works. It's like there's this good, and beautiful life out there that is life to it's fullest and then we get restless and unsettled and start to whine. And we look and we look for the thing that is going to right this life and really Jesus is like Ali. He is sitting there with his hand on the toy waiting for us to find it. And when we do it's going to be just as awesome as if we looked for it for hours or days or years. Cause the points not the looking but the finding. So ya, don't know if that makes sense just a little ramble for the evening...

Oh summer... where art thou???

2007-01-20T19:19:00.000-06:00

Alright, I was realizing that I don't like blogs without pictures and so I thought I should put up a few pics. So I was looking through my pictures and memories of my kids and this summer were fresh in my mind. How I loved this summer... Winter blues have seemed to hit hard this year and the only reason I can think is because the summer was just so beautiful... So here are a few pictures of my lovely children and neighbourhood and a little bit of this past summer....

Things that make me smile today...

2007-01-20T19:06:00.000-06:00

what happens in apartment #307 when Erica is grumpy...

2007-01-15T23:09:00.000-06:00

So do ever have one of those days that just seems good... you get laundry done, clean the bathroom and finally realize the sink is in fact a pearly white, have good conversations and times with friends, lunch with the fam, and even work out... yes people that was my day. One of those good ones. After a busy week of Bethany missions, I just relaxed and caught up on stuff around here. All was good... I was sitting here after being out for the evening chatting on msn with my dear Brazilian friend and then my dear, sweet room-mate walked in... I have not seen her really in the past few days. Kinda forgot what she looked like really. I got home good and early to spend some time with her when she got home... but... she didn't have a good day... and when erica doesn't have a good day nobody has a good day... so instead of a joyous greeting I was greeted with a grunt... I tried to stay out of her way... but I didn't want to be rude and make her day worse... what to do... what to say... 'oh no, I thought... she's a ticking time bomb, please Jesus, don't let me set her off.'... so i say a few things... she calls me a priss... and then it happens I through caution to the wind... I know I shouldn't, but I laugh at her... I laugh at her cause a few weeks ago she told me how 2000 and 'heaven' was going to be the best most positive year... she proceded to tell me how she would no longer be negative... and where as I knew she meant it, I knew it just is not possible to be a positive person all the time, so I laughed... cause ha, I told you so...

2007-01-04T23:02:00.000-06:00

Sigur Ros - Untitled #1 [aka vaka]

I should call this night 'oh to sigur ros night'. I think they are geniuses...

2007-01-04T22:53:00.000-06:00

Sigur Ros - Glósóli

Watched this today and was once again reminded at how much I love this video and song. When I first watched this I was sure there was some hidden meaning. I never did find it, but today something clicked in this my head and it came to an all new meaning... so, my question is what this make you think of?

people who know you...

2006-12-23T10:55:00.000-06:00

Merry Chritmas everyone...

Just had a lovely evening with friends from home last night. Wendy had a little party full of food and people at her house for the second year in a row. It was really just great to get out in the country and visit with 'home people'. I was thinking about how unusual it is that we all get together and have stayed in touch so much, and how much I really do love those people. From what I see not too many people do that when they have been out of school for so long but there's something kinda special about it. I think deep down inside most of us would love to all move back to Dalmeny and live the quaint, small town life, but out journey's have all taken us to all very different places. So as much as I think loving home is awesome and as much as I truly do love the place I came from, i was also having a wonderful chat with Matthew and we were both saying how it also makes life a bit more complicated. It makes our hearts pull in more than one direction when we are deciding on love and life and how we would like our lives to look. It's crazy cause really, when it all comes down to it you want people who know you around you. People who understand and care. And that's what 'home people' are, people who know you and love you. So I don't even know what my point with this whole thing is. My mind is still just thinking about all Matthew and I talked about last night. All I know is that I've gotta believe that God has some sort of big plan, cause sometimes certain things just don't make sense to me... haha, this isn't a very merry christmas message is it? Sorry, merry christmas everyone. I hope these next few days bring time to sit and be and love and be loved and to just know that there is a bigger plan that we have no idea about...

Sometimes you just need time away...

2006-12-13T15:44:00.000-06:00

So, last week and the days preceding were for some unknown reason quite overwhelming. I was feeling on the edge of burn out, or what I would assume is burn out seeing as how I have not yet felt the fullness of the thing they call burnout. Whatever it was I was tired, my body was sick, I wanted to cry all the time, and I felt as if there was no way to slow life down. So that's where I was Thursdat night when I packed up my stuff to head out to Canmore for the week-end. As I was quickly throwing all my things in my pack to head out I almost stopped and didn't go... but since it was planned and I felt there were people expecting me to be there I went. Friday night I couldn't sleep, my head felt like it was going to blow up, I was hot and emotionally at the end. I lay on sweet Bettina's ( who was a wonderful host) bathroom floor and just said sorry to Jesus. Sorry for not even listening to my own body and taking care of myself. I thought of ways I could get home and just lay in bed. But as I awoke the next morning that didn't seem to be the best option. So I just prayed that the best would come from this week-end and I would go slow... and I did, and the best did come. In fact better than I could have imagined. And so I have come to the conclusion that sometimes you just need time away. Time to wake up and slowly get ready. Time to get up and read your bible and journal. Time to sit by the fire place in a strangers home and be encouraged by the faithfulness of these radical people before you. Time to talk about dreams and community and of what could be. Time to be honest. Time to look at what you could be doing better. Time to be encouraged at what you are doing right. Time to think about what God has called you to be. Time to take challenges. Time to meet new people who don't know you from a hole in the wall and never will but a simple conversation that has nothing to do with work or anything of importance, but is a wonderful breath of fresh air. Time to sit in hotsprings. Time to build deeper relationships with friends. Time to enjoy Canada and the beauty that is here. Time to strap on crampons and grab ice picks and climb the wall even further than you did the day before. Time to just be... no agenda, no expectations, just being. It was wonderful. I remember a friend talking about 'kingdom time'. It is a phrase that has been in my mind this past week-end. Kingdom time. Time to just be, to move when God moves and not a minute before. It is what I long to walk in. It is something I will strive to walk in. And though I feel that in our everyday lives kingdom time is something that needs to be fought for so I will try my best to fight for it... I just may need those closest to me to remind me from time to time.

2006-12-05T22:58:00.000-06:00

Shane Claiborne at Fusion Youth

and here's the last one... it's pretty long (almost an hour actually) and so I don't expect many people to watch it, but I was home sick today and so ended up watching the whole thing... pretty powerful... I think Shane Claiborne is one of my heroes... If you haven't you should all read irresistable revolution...

2006-12-05T22:54:00.000-06:00

The New Nativity Story Trailer

since I just realized how easy it is to post these youtube things I thought I would give everyone a few to watch... I watched this trailer earlier today and the realness of the christmas story was in my mind today... hmmm... hope this makes you think like it did me...

2006-12-05T22:49:00.000-06:00

Gabriel and the Vagabond

Foy Vance, what a wonderful song... I heard this song on Grey's Anatomy and then couldn't get it out of my head. It really is a beautiful song...

In celebration for my 34th post!!!

2006-11-18T17:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I just feeding reading Erica's tribute to her 100th post and I thought to myself, hey that's a good idea I'm going to do it. But when I looked to see how many posts I've written it was mere 34... So I thought to myself, why must we wait for the milestones, like 100, to celebrate. Can I not just celebrate 34? So that's what I'll do celebrate that this is the 34th post, the last was 33 and the next will be 35.... wow....

34 things that I, Dana Barrand, love and appreciate...

1. my mom, what a woman!
2. my sis, even when we are cranky together, i know we'll still be friends
3. appleby -what would life be if I were not here?
4. kids club
5. famers market
6. organic yogurt
7. journalling using words and drawings and pictures
8. prayer rooms
9. travelling
10. Africa
11. babies
12. baking banana bread with cranberries
13. erica, amy, dana, wendy, sj, lisa, sarah... you know I would not know what to do with myself with out you girls...
14. dreaming about what could be with my life
15. njema, majok, nabol, and athok
16. picking people up at the bus stop
17. eating chinese food at christmas
18. gardening
19. eating stuff from my garden
20. when erica calls me a 'hippie' as well as when she calls me 'fernie'
21. taking pictures
22. airports
23. work
24. the people i work with
25. high school memories of walks around Dalmeny
26. meeting new people from other countries
27. eating delicious meals with dad, linda, and lindsay
28. knowing i risked and did what i needed to do
29. riding my bike
30. canoeing down the river and dragging my feet in the water
31. broadway theater
32. eating at fun restaurants like saba's, ee burritos, and the like
33. the internet - what a nerd i am
34. the ocean

well, I'm having fun with this so I'm going to keep going...

35. public speaking
36. memories or granville island and taking pictures in 'dana'
37. dreaming of being a real 'hippie' someday
38. the pursuit of being a good soup maker
39. watching foreign movies, or movies with a message
40. ywam, mcc, bethany - the places that have helped to shape me
41. hammocks
42. growing herbs, even though they generally end up dying
43. my grandma (and grandpa too)
44. my grey jogging suit that I wear all the time when I am home
45. visiting with Shirley
46. learning new things about the world
47. the hope of falling in love
48. the fringe and other fun festivals in the summer
49. summer time in saskatoon
50. the sound of skates on a skating rink
52. when erica makes me supper
53. amy's mirror creations
54. my colombian family - rosa, caro, and gloria
55. empanada's and limonade from gloria
56. the dream of wanting to make a photography coffee table book
57. dreaming of travelling to far away places and seeing more of this world
58. freedom in worship
59. deep conversations in the evening
60. burning candles
61. cuddling up in a blanket and watching a girly movie
62. organic section of the super market
63. blog stalking
64. sleeping under the christmas tree with my sister
65. being with people
66. the occational night alone, with burning candles, quiet music and my journal
67. painting - if I feel so inspired
68. hanging out with simon and matthew

the end - i believe i doubled my intended 34, but after a while it gets fun and I start to think about all the lovely things of life...

Here's to another 34 more posts!!!! cheers....

It's been so long since I posted something...

2006-11-16T13:51:00.000-06:00

Well, I know it's been so long. Much has been happening. I turned 25 and have made some good 25 year resolutions, have been having good times with friends, work is busy but creative and encouraging, kids club is my joy every week, jesus is just good these days... But I don't have much time to write all about what's been going through my head. I write this Chalo update e-mail to some kids who where out in Saskatoon at Appleby this summer. As I was writing it I thought I would just post it here cause I really should post on this thing. So here it is...

Well Everyone,

It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to sit down
and write an update on what’s been going on around
Appleby Drive. Life is sure a lot different around
here in the winter. Everythings seems quieter because
the kids aren’t running all over. It’s kinda sad, and
Erica and I have both said we can’t wait for the
summer...

This past fall Majok, Nabol, and Njema’s family moved
to another area of the city. It wasn’t the best of
circumstances that brought hem to move and in the
short notice they had they could only find a two
bedroom within their price range. So now this family
of 7 lives in a two bedroom apartment. Please pray
for them when they come to mind. They need all the
prayers they can get right now.

The kids had never been trick or treating, so Erica
and I decided go over to their place and take the
trick or treating. They told us what they wanted to
be and we went out and got them costumes, even their
oldest sister, who is 14 was pumped to be a princess!
i have never seen kids so excited. So we got dressed
up, reviewed trick or treating manners “no eating
until home, say thank-you, and don’t hog the
doorway...) grabbed our pillow cases and went on our
merry way.

Well, we got to the first door and she gave them each
one mini chocolate bar. They couldn’t believe that
this was true. You ring and they give you candy, how
brilliant!!! They were just excited, and I didn’t
think they could get much more excited until one of
the ladies gave them a handful of her candy bowl.
Well, that was it, Majok could barely talk he was so
excited. He just looked at us with big eyes and a
stunned look and said, “SHE GAVE US A WHOLE
HANDFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” It was great. We kept
going and throughout the night they would just look at
their candy and with great pride remark on how their
mom was going to be so proud of them.

That night I just thought man, I wish I was a kid
again. Not just for the candy, but for that utter
excitment over the little things. The thankfulness
that pours out because from deep in our beings we are
stunned and excited and thankful at what is around us,
not the thankfulness that pours out because we are
polite and it is the ‘right’ thing to do. So today...
let’s forget we are getting older, lets just be kids.
Let’s be amazed at this world around us.

Dana

Questions...

2006-10-22T13:26:00.000-06:00

Hey Everyone. I love reading these question things so I figured I would take a few minutes on this lazy Sunday afternoon and answer some questions... if anyone else would like to answer these questions, feel free, no pressure though...

1. FIRST NAME?
That's kinda a silly question but I guess I'll answer it. Dana.

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Well, Dana isn't really after anyone but it's kinda suppose to be after my great grandma Dina, but my mom didn't want me to be called Dyna so I was called Dana. Kinda the same, but not at all, and Fern is after my dad's mom.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
A couple weeks ago.

4. DO YOU KNOW YOUR OWN HANDWRITING?
I'm pretty sure I do, I don't have to recognize it much, so really I don't know.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
really cheap corned beef from super store. I don't know I just love that stuff, even though I doubt there is realy much meat in it at all... mmmm, preservatives.... it's sick to actually think of it...

6. KIDS?
someday, i hope to have a little flock of my own.

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I hope so.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL?
yep, I havent' been the best journaller this summer, but I do love to write ever once in a while.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
I'm trying not to as much, but it's just so fun sometimes.

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yep

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
ummm... I think so. I would need to really give myself a good pep talk before though

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE POSITION IN BED?
ummm... do you mean when I sleep? cause in that case I start on my side and end up on my stomach.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nope, most of my shoes don't tie anyway.

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
nope, I am quite aware that I have little muscles and therefore am not strong.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
cookie dough

I6. SHOE SIZE?
8

17. RED OR PINK?
red, but not just any red, the deep scarletty red is the one I like.

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
ummm, there are things I would want to change, but we don't really need to get into that here so we??

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
I miss lots of people.

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO INCLUDE THIS IN THEIR BLOG TOO?
you bet.

21. WHAT COLOUR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
right now I am sporting a lovely grey sweatsuit. Yes, you heard correctly... sweatsuit!

22. LAST THING YOU ATE?
well, I was just down at my neighours and she fed me this tasty little bun with beef in the middle, some middle easter snack. It was so great...

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the tv's on but I'm not really listening...

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
I would want to be dark purple or turquoise blue

25. FAVORITE SMELLS?
there's this smell that's in foregn stores, like a weird insense. I love it, and the smell of bread baking... mmmm... fresh baked bread...

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Amy, I'm not going to lie to you I talk to her on the phone alot!

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO?
I don't know... I know this sounds lame but I notice their personality and passion first, and then I don't know, I am realizing that I am usually attracted to slender boys...

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
ummm, I just found these questions somewhere.

29. FAVORITE DRINK?
Lemonade made by my colombian friend Gloria, it is absolutely wonderful.

30. FAVORITE SPORT?
can canoeing be a sport???

31. HAIR COLOR?
I guess you could say brown with a smattering of lighter highlights...

32. EYE COLOR?
Blue

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
not anymore. I did in high school but then stopped for no apparent reason

34. FAVORITE FOOD?
ummm, I don't know I just like food, but nachos are great

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING?
for sure happy

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED IN THEATER?
I saw Marie Antonette, weird, I would not recommend it.

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
haven't I said this already... a grey bunny hug.

38. SUMMER OR WINTER?
ummm, definitely not winter, if there was a fall, I would take that, but summer's pretty good too.

39. HUGS OR KISSES?
I like both...

40. FAVORITE DESSERT?
my moms brownies with ice cream and special mom made chocolate sauce

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
i dunno

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
i dunno

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
ummm I am reading a book called the first ladies detective series. it's kinda good.

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
nothing I'm on a laptop.

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV?
I didn't watch tv last night.

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS?
i lole the sound of rain beating on a tent

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
beatles

48. THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
umm, I don't know maybe india

So there you go... have a wonderful Sunday afternoon... I'm going to take a nap now...

So, I'm going to take a bit of a blogging break...

2006-09-25T21:59:00.000-06:00

So, as the title says I am in fact going to take a bit of a blogging break. It's true, I don't write a lot to begin with and so many of you might be saying, what's the big deal. But you see I think I've chosen to take a break from the whole blogging world. I'm almost embarressed to say it but it just sucks you in and I end up wasting so much time sitting in front of this computer looking at peoples lives I barely know and wondering what my life would be like if it were like this or that. It's not that I sit here pining away for others lives but it does stir up something in me that makes me a little restless, and so I'm trying to still those thoughts. I heard this wonderful sermon this week-end titled 'the house of thoughts' and saying your mind is going to be the biggest battleground, and is like a letter for the world to see, and basically asking what are you going to write on your mind for the world to see. And so I want to spend time writing good things on this mind, focusing on what God has around me and what He has put in me. It might be just for a week, or I might realize I don't need to spend as much time looking at others lives. Who knows, i might just be back next week, ha!

What a wonderful evening...

2006-09-16T12:06:00.000-06:00

I have to say I just had a great night last night. It was a reunion of sorts really. Amy, Peter and me. You see when amy and I used to live together on 514-12th Street East (ha, I can hear neighbour Jeff calling the house and telling us who has was adding in his address - just in case we forgot he lived across the hall) we used to have game nights with Peter. Many an evening was spent playing games and eating popcorn. It was lovely. So last night was a reunion. It was to be games night, and we did play a fair amount of skipbo but then we decided to take a break and go play in the puddles. Good thing Peter has worked in the bush cause we were all three oufitted quite well with boots and pants and jackets and hats (some being water proof and some being not water proof we sooned learned). We drove around the city in search of great puddles and definitely found some. I lost my boot in something that was more like a pond than a puddle. We played a Kinsmen park and then all went home soaking wet... I wish I had some pictures cause it was great fun. We changed into warm cozy clothes only to play more cards, smoke some sheesha, ete some popcorn and watch some tv. All in all a wonderful night.

I started to think about my friends and how much I really do love them. (queue cheesy music - is that the write queue to use???) no need to get all emotional, but I was thinking about how sometimes I get so restless and want to leave and then nights like last night happen, where we all just have fun and don't have to care about what's going to happen next and all of a sudden I really like where I am right now...

Here's a few pictures of our annual Valentines Day night...

Time to write some more...

2006-09-12T23:03:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been a while since I wrote, but you know that feeling when you have a bunch of stuff swirling around your head and don't know how to put it into words, and don't really feel like putting the energy into doing so... that's how I've been feeling. Caught in between wanting to get out of this 'funk' (for lack of better word) and kinda liking the fact that I can wallow for a while. I don't even know what I'm 'wallowing' about really...

Don't get me wrong, there is much to love about life, and in fact I have just had a couple of wonderful days, but I'm feeling all around restless. Like something big needs to change. When I get like this I start to think about travelling. I have this new dream now to take a bike trip in a foreign country. I have these thoughts that I would kinda train and ride a stationary bike lots this winter and then take off to Africa or something and go on a week long bike trip along the coast of south africa, or somewhere wonderful like that. I just think it would be so wonderful and you would see so much that you miss when you are speeding by in a car... hmmm... just a dream for now... or I start dreaming about settling down with someone I love, (who? your guess is as good as mine, and if you're guessing you might as well through those guess's my way cause all my guess's are ending up wrong...) and making a home and dreaming together and really being in love. Really isn't it funny how a restlessness within you can make you shift between, 'oh I want to fall and love and settle down' to 'oh i want to run away and travel the world'. Hmmm... two thoughts that are so opposite... weird.

On a different note there seem to be a few new things going on around here which somewhat settles the restlessness for spurts of time. I bought a new car (well, not new, but new to me, and I love her!), I got a new hair colour (which I have say might be my old hair colour soon cause I'm not particularly sold on it), my dear friend Sarah Jane and my old friend Rachelle are moving in together and they are coming here to this wonderful neighbourhood, so slowly but surely we are building community, and I am back to work full time now and really enjoying it. I do really love that place...

So there's an update on me.... I must go to bed now... talk to you later...

My Kids...

2006-08-21T23:45:00.000-06:00

Here are just a few pictures of 'my kids'. I've had two youth groups in our neighbourhood doing a chalo week these past couple weeks and for clarification I've just starting to referring to the neighbourhood kids as 'my kids', and somehow it just feels right. I don't think I can explain adequately how much joy these little ones give to my heart. Everynight the youth group comes together and we do high-lights (the best part of the day) and low-lights (the worst). I just wanted to share with you my little high-light from yesterday. I was down in Kids Club making supper and usually we keep the window closed cause we'll have like 8 kids trying to get in through the window but I opened it up and no children seemed to notice except for this one little sweetheart. She came and sat their while me and a couple other girls were making supper, she sang for us and chatted with us as I snuck her some cheese we were putting in the salad. She would smile and then just keep talking. My words do not do justice for the beauty that was in this simple little moment...

Anyway, here's some pictures of these little ones that make me smile. (I stole some from Erica's folder on the computer, thanks E for the beautiful pics)

2006-07-26T23:49:00.000-06:00

In short my week has consisted of redberry bible camp - camping at sturgeon lake (which is beautiful and I would say that everyone should go spend a week-end there!) - tea time at appleby - surprise b-day part for mom - visiting with family and friends - and kids club... It's been a wonderful week...

And to top it all off I ended up at the garden with friend Erica picking some of the harvest from our small little garden plot. How great it is to see vegetables on the plants that just a couple months ago were seed. I'm fascinated and have a new love for farmers and the food we eat...

A few thoughts have been swirling around my head. How can people live lives that are so hard. I remember a couple of years ago I told Amy I was going to do a photography book called 'Resiliency of the Human Soul' and lately I've been thinking about that phrase. I watched the news tonight and my heart ached for what's happening in Lebanon and Israel. Do they not see the beautiful people they are destroying, the heart-ache that is being felt, the lives are being that are being ripped apart. And it makes me think of my neighbours and the people around here that I call my friends. This is not the first or the last time that evil will hurt people. In fact it is this evil that has forced my neighbours to flee the homes they love and move here to a country they are strangers. It almost seems hopeless to see the pictures and hear the stories. But then I look out at the kids at Kids club tonight. I see children who have lived a life so foreign to me. I see mothers and fathers watching their children from a distance, who have experienced more than I can imagine. And then they smile and laugh and love and I am reminded that beyond these evils are people who just want to be at peace, people who want to be with family and laugh with friends. Tonight I am reminded that although there is much evil there is a beautiful resiliency to the human soul...

So tonight let's pray...

A little bit of an update...

2006-07-07T00:00:00.000-06:00

Well it's been a while since I have posted and I was told tonight by my dear room-mate that it was time to do it again. I just got home from a lovely supper at the Braun's. We had our first community cooking night. (Erica, Amy, Lisa, Rob, and Maddie - I couldn't have asked for a nicer evening - thank-you!) Tonight was Chinese food. It was scrumptous! But I think my favourite part of the evening was the lovely conversation. I sat there and thought that these are the people I want to speak into my life, to push me, to journey with and ask questions about how we can make this world a better place. It really was an inspiring evening. We talked a how we were going to live more sustainably. I've really been thinking about this lately. Thinking about what little changes I can make to live a simpler and more kinder life. I've thought about whether I should try the bus and bike transportation life in the fall or shopping more organic, local food or buying fair trade clothes. There is just so much one could do it's overwhelming at times. It was so nice to sit and visit with friends about these kind of things. I know I think them often but how often am I challenged by friends in the practical ways I live my life. It made me think of what little choices I can make. I'm still thinking so stay tuned to hear of these lovely new life changes...

On another note I wanted to talk a little about what's going here in our lovely home. Last night, as per usual, it was Kids Club. We've been thinking lately on how we would like to do a little bit of teaching and talking to these kids about important things in life, things that we value, things that shape our lives. So last night we decided to venture out. Loving one another was what we talked about. They answered questions and stayed involved and once again I was amazed at my little friends. However, the moment I wanted to tell you about happened a few minutes later. There was my little 'Cinderella' (if you have read previous posts you'll know what I'm talking about). She was sitting on Colin's shoulders. They came up to me and she clearly announced that she had a secret for me. She leaned down only to whisper this wonderful secret into my ears. Her face lit up and she exclaimed in a voice louder than a whisper, "I love you!". Her little eyes were dancing as she smiled from ear to ear. Hmmm... sometimes I wonder what we are doing around here. Sometimes I wonder if our words are being heard. Sometimes I should just stop wondering, because God is good and children are beautiful and loving people is grand...

Quote...

2006-06-25T00:17:00.000-06:00

So I just found this quote and thought I would share it with you all.

For it is the soul’s joy to become effective in the body.
She strives forever to perfect the work of the body that was created by God
—Hildegard of Bingen, De Operatione Dei IV, 19

So true hey.

What makes your soul joyful? What makes your body feel effective?

I love being outside in my garden, being at the farmers market and riding my bike (preferably downhill to be honest). I love talking about life and loves and God and lessons learned with friends. I love taking pictures. I love being here with my neighbourhood. I love when kids hug me, and I love going for walks. I love when a song brings a well of emotions and praise and I am overwhelmed with love. I love talking about days events before bed. I love learning about the world and cultures. I love dreaming about what could be. I love the library. I love my mom. I love driving in silence and I love singing at the top my lungs while I drive.

These are just a few things that I am learning that I love. These are my soul's joys. It is here that I feel effective. It is here that I feel God and his goodness. And I guess if this quote rings true. My soul will continue to perfect these things... (Now as I re-read this quote I guess it could be thought of in a few different ways but this is what I'm going with tonight)

(and Lisa I switched the comment thing so you can make comments now. :) I thought you would like this quote...)

So...

2006-06-19T22:51:00.000-06:00

I really don't have much to write right now... but I'll try cause I want to know if this blog feed thing I'm doing is working. Hmmm, what can I say.... Here I'm going to ask Erica a question and then I'll answer it, ok, here I go... "Dana, what am I reading?" - Gee Erica, I don't know, oh --- it's your cool CSI story book to go along with your finished puzzle. Shouldn't you be using the lazer decoder to read that book, hahahaha.... ok, here's another one.... "Dana, do you think your flowers look pretty?" - Yes, I do, they smell lovely too, especially the freesia, thanks Erica, you really know how to cheer a girl up, my flowers on the balcony however do not look as great because I forgot that the rain we had could not reach them on out little deck, hmmm, I hope they live... ok here's another one... "Who is Jay Smith?" - asked Erica as she was intent on solving the crime, I really don't know I hate puzzles and have a bit of ADD which allows me not to be into hard questions that take me longer than two minutes to answer... ok, and I know you wanted to read another, so here you go, one last and final question... "Why am I so darn sexy?" - hmmmm, I just don't know what to say to that one and so with that I am off. I hoped you enjoyed reading about the last 5 minutes in the Erica and Dana home... come by and visit sometime... It's a good time... hope you have a good night...

Cinderella

2006-06-16T23:34:00.000-06:00

Today I had a few extra minutes before my friends arrived for the evening. I could hear the kids in the playground outside playing and so I grabbed a skipping rope and headed out for some fun. I ended up ditching the skipping rope and let the kids fight it out who was going to turn the rope and skip first and I wandered over to the swing set where I pushed the younger kids on the swings. I was talking and laughing with a little girl who is one of our little 'regulars' in the park and she was trying to touch my hand as she got higher and higher on the swing. She had finshed swinging and asked me "Do you know what my name is?" I answered her full well knowing her name. She shook her head and said "No, here I'll tell you." I bent down for this magical secret, expecting her to give me some made up goofy name. Other kids tried to listen in but this was top secret and she promptly got a little upset with them. She looked at me this excited look and a glimmer in her eyes and said "Cinderella". She said it like it was the most enchanting secret ever. I wasn't expecting that at all. I laughed at the beauty of this little girl who if only for that second really felt like she was Cinderella.

It's later now and my friends have gone home. My evenings been one of hanging out and visiting with friends. But as I sit and ponder the day I think of that little girl and the secret that she was Cinderella. There's a weird sort of truth to her little game. Wishing she was someone else; someone magical; someone like Cinderella. In a land where mice sew pretty dresses and a pumkin turns to a magical carriage. It's fun to play that game. To know who you are but to dream about who you would like to be. To dream about something magical happening. I think the point I'm trying to make is sometimes I wish I was Cinderella too.

Snapshot of today...

2006-06-13T01:00:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting here on my couch. It's later than I would like to be up. I decided this morning not to sleep in past 9:30 all the time. It feels like my day just slips away when I'm not up early. So this is not a good start to the wonderful attempt I'm going to make of that tomorow morning. But I feel like writing. Maybe I'll give you a snapshot of a part of my day. I exited the apartments next door after spending a couple hours organizing pricing an apartment of stuff we are going to sell to raise money for new playground equipment. "Adina!... Adina!... " says Majok, who seems to think this is my name even though he hears all the other kids say 'Dana' all the time. I wave and say hi and walk into the tennis/basketball court and all of a sudden I have 5 little African children climbing all over me asking me to come out and play, telling me about this and that, giving me big hugs and asking me to pick them up. I hang out for a bit and run upstairs to get them a few balls to play with outside. Then I watch them as they so proudly play their version of tennis/volleyball they have just made up. I tell little Nyjema that she is doing good and she beams. Then I tell Majok that he is responsible for the balls in the park and after they are sone he needs to bring them to the apartment. He looks proud that he has this grand responsibilty and after we shake on our deal (because what is an agreement without a trustworthy shake) that he will bring me the balls after they are done I head inside for a bit. Maybe twenty minutes later there is a knock at the door. Only to find about 6 kids bringing back the balls and coming for a visit. We all have freezies and Erica and I try to tell them that we need to stay in the living room as they are curious about every room in our apartment and everything we seem to house in those rooms. Finally we are done the freezies and are all back in the living room. They decide to go play outside, they grab a licorice at the door and then head outside where they will continue to play into the evening... There's a little snapshot. There's no story, or lesson, or anything deep about this little snapshot. It simply just is.

First thoughts on Community...

2006-06-09T00:14:00.000-06:00

Hmmm, sometimes it feels like there's so much going on and I don't know where to begin. This is my friend Jenn and her soon to be husband Mark. I am at her house right now and love is in the air. She is getting married this week-end. So we've decorated the chapel, and tomorow will continue to make preparations for that big day, more decorating, do the nails, last minute details on the slide show, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and all that other stuff. It feels like everyone is in love and there's a sweet feeling in the air...

On another note, last night was one of the first nights I really thought about what it means to live in community. You see it's easy for me to think about community and Appleby Drive because I love it and this is my dream and I think community and living with others and joining together is something God has called me to right now. But truely did you notice in the last sentance how much "I' came up. And that's exactly it. Sometimes I get really sidetracked, and I think about myself an awefull lot. But that's not what community is. And that, my friends, is what I need to remember. Living in community doesn't mean everything will be easier for us. It doesn't mean that things are simpler, or that you have more people to accomplish your dreams. Living in community means that you think about others before yourself. You listen to others dreams and you join alongside them and press on to make them happen. Living in community means you listen. You wrestle with what is being said and you let it challenge you and mold you and change you. That is living in community.

So yes, I do only live with one other person right now (well one and half really, right Jane), and you may think that's not enough people to really have a community, but I think it is. And you know what, I think it'll grow and even it doesn't the things I learn by intentionally living with a few committed people will challange how I look at life. Of this I can be sure.

Gardening

2006-06-05T22:46:00.000-06:00

I never have grown a garden, much less been overly interested in the whole process but this year for some reason it is what I long to do. I've only been at it a week but I am truely captivated by the whole process. You see I have a little garden plot down Ave. K sandwiched between 20th and 21st Street. I (and by I, I mean Erica, Jane and myself) have planted beans, peas, radishes, lettuce, spinich, carrots, tomatoes, and even cucumbers. We planted them all on Monday and I am proud to say after much watering that the radishes are all in a row and tonight as I carefully inspected the other little rows I saw carrots, onions and even some pease peeking it's way up through the ground. How truely amazing it all is. But what I find most amazing is what comes alongside this gardening adventure. You see it's a community garden I grow in and so naturally there are people whom I garden with. Within the first week I moved into this apartment Erica and I became friends with the family down the hall. The friendship defies all logic. They are a couple in there forties with four kids, they are professional people from Afghanistan, they are practising Muslims, we are different as night in day in come aspects and yet our friendship has blossomed as we have begun to garden together. And everyday Mohammed and Sangin and I trek on over to our garden. We have searched for water in this past week (as the garden's water is not yet hooked up) and our search has allowed us to meet our new gardening neighbours, a sweet chinese woman who barely knows English, makes tofu in her backyard shed, and is delighted that we are gardening next to her house and a generous older man who graciously lets us use his water when ever we need it. I have met a couple who normally I would be rather hesitant to talk to on the street. He had slashes all up his arm and she was in some rough shape and yet they helped me carry the heavy water container over to the garden and were very interested in what was growing, we stood there for a couple minutes talking about this little piece of land I have and joked about how I was so attached to it and I wouldn't know what to do if it doesn't grow. It's amazing how this garden brings people together. I have thought of the garden of eden and how lovely it must have been to garden next to God himself. Imagine the stories He told and the lessons they learned just while digging in the dirt and` getting their hands dirty next to God. How exciting it must have been to see the seeds that were planted flourish and how lovingly God must have smiled the first time Eve giggled in excitment as the plants were breaking through the soil. Truely how beautiful it must have been. So there you have it. I love my garden and the people that surround it.

Life is pretty good...

2006-05-20T23:19:00.001-06:00

Alright, I feel like there's so much going on in life right now. God is doing big things on the outside and the inside. I haven't written in a while so here's a bit of an update. I went on a holiday with my family to San Diego at the end of April. I can honestly say it was two of the best weeks I've ever had. I really do love my mom and sister, and I just came to a new found appreciation and respect for them and basically just want to hang out with them all the time... so that was great. I came home at the beginning of May to a new home. My great new room-mate Erica and many wonderful friends worked long and hard and moved my small little apartment to our third floor new home. I have been dreaming about community and living here in this neighbourhood for a while and so living here kind of feels like a dream come true. We have gotten to know our neighbours and have sat on the floor as we visited and heard all about Afghanistan. I come home in the evening and there are always groups of kids that come running up to talk and try to talk me into playing with them. It's just wonderful. There is just so much community and life here and I love everything about it... the inside has been harder... It feels like everything in life is new. It's hard to start with everything new. To leave things behind that you wish you could keep, but I feel a peace. Sometimes we just need to step out to get his peace, and to hear his voice a little louder. So life is pretty good right now. I'm not working for a few months and so I'm trying to relax, visit with friends, make new friends, and just be... So that's about it. Life is full of potential right now and only God knows what He's going to do with it all. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be more than I can imagine.

On another note, I have realized that as I look at blogs I always like the ones with pictures. So here's a few pictures...

Erin and I at Disneyland. The funnest day ever! It really is the happiest place on earth!!!

My auntie Carroll came to hang with us for a week and this her and my mom after a long day in Disneyland. They are so funny when they get together.

This is us riding bikes at Mission Beach. I think I was made to be by the ocean!

Hollywood is so weird. We travel so far only to see some stars on the sidewalk. Weird, yet strangely fun.

Mom and Erin in Me-hee-ko!

And that's all the pictures for tonight. I hope you are all having a fabulous long week-end.

Villages, dreams, and the Taj Mahal...

2006-04-10T12:05:00.000-06:00

Here's another little story/life lesson I learned from my trip:

We had left the busyness of the city of millions. Kolkata was wonderful, an overload to the senses. Cars, people and cows scattered throughout the roads and pathways finding their way where ever they could squeeze. The honk of a car horn could be heard every 5 seconds amongst the sounds of people talking, babies crying, and music coming from the shops. Colour was everywhere; beautiful sari’s, blue, green and pink washed buildings, yellow taxi cabs. I felt my senses waking up.

But we had left this city of many people and ventured out into the rural areas of India. It felt like home. Flat land is flat land all over the world, and it is times like these when I realize I really am a prairie girl at heart. There was room to breath, room to run, room to see for miles. It was beautiful. It was still dry season and so the square plots where rice was grown were now dry and cracked. In the early evening it was no longer a rice field but a cricket field where the boys would come out to play.

We made our way down a series of bumpy back roads and arrived at a village. I don’t know the name of the village and to be honest I can’t remember the names of the people I met, but their faces and stories and the picture of the village is etched into my minds eye. It was dusty and many children scattered through the main street we drove in on. I wonder how many cars come through this village because people came out from all over to see the new visitors. We stopped close to the village well, where there were three little girls pumping as hard as they could to get the water they needed to survive that day. A mother came from down the road with a small baby on her hip. The baby, in a little teal dress, could barely lift her head, she was sick. The mother welcomed us to the village, looked behind her and told the children to behave, and then led a few of us to a home.

We sat in this small local home, made from mud and sticks and the women of the village shared with us the story of their lives. The people in the village lived off the land but rain was scarce and so many of their husbands left for months to find work. They had one small school that had just recently opened for the children. We later had a bit of a tour, and found no books, no desks, and not much room for the fifty children it supposedly held. Life did not seem easy for these women, and yet they laughed and smiled and showed us their children who they were so very proud of.

And the question was asked, “What are your hopes and dreams for you children?”. They looked at each other and kind of laughed as if to say, ‘Well, we don’t really think like this.’ Or ‘Why would we dream when we can’t feed our children?’. It took a second and then one of them piped in and said, “We want our children to have education.” That was it. And when I think of this I think wait a second that’s a right. That should be a given, you should be able to dream beyond that.

I started to think about that later that evening when thoughts and experiences flood your mind and heart and you have no other option but to ask yourself the tougher questions. And I realized that visions and dreams of what can be are a privilege that I take for granted. There are people who cannot afford to dream, they are too busy surviving, they are too busy thinking about what will be their children’s food when they run out of the corn from last years meager harvest. And here I sit feeding off my dreams, motivated by what could be. So much in fact that I get mixed up and think that is why we are here, to dream big.

But as I sat back and thought about this I thought I must be wrong. Because the people I sat with in the village have just as much purpose to their lives as I do. And when God looks down on us both he sees people who are the same, he has made us both for a purpose. So my question was, what is it that He has created us for?

I pondered this question for a few days, and it wasn’t until the week-end that I felt a bit of an answer creep into my thoughts. There I was standing at the Taj Mahal. The most beautiful man-made work of art I have ever seen. Worlds away from the village I had experienced a few days prior. I was now amongst tourists, people who had the resources and time to come and be awed by this wonder; a tomb for a women, a tribute to her life, a demonstration of love. It was stunning. And I thought about what binds that simple village I visited with the magnificent Taj Mahal… And what crept into my mind was: relationships, love and friendship and the value that is in the people around us. The rich can represent it with extravagant buildings and large demonstrations, while the poor can be seen holding the hand of a child or sitting and laughing together on a straw mat.

Relationships. That’s what we were created for. I saw this truth lived out time and time again while I was in India. It seems so simple and yet I so easily forget. I get wrapped up in the busyness of life and the mission I feel that I am on, and along the way I forget the people around me.

Philippians 1:9-10 says, “I pray that your love for each other will overflow more and more and that you will keep on growing in your knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until Christ returns.”

I think I had a glimpse of what really matters while I was in India. I admit that I am only 24 and the things that matter today may not be the things that matter 20 years from now. But I do know I was challenged by what I saw. I am challenged to take these examples I saw played out before my eyes and live them out here in the land of balancing dreams and visions and the people I love.

Stories...

2006-04-05T11:39:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been a week. I've been meaning to put up some more pictures but just haven't gotten the chance yet. Life has just picked up really from where it left off (with a few more life lessons learned and things to think about of course). I have been trying to write out some of my stories though so here is one I just finished (sorry it's so long!).

Christ in You...

We arrived in Kolkata in the early morning of March 5th. It was humid and muggy and there was a sweet tropical smell to the air, quiete the change from cold, harsh snow I left back in Saskatoon. After long waits in line, and finding our packs we journeyed outside.

India is a land of intense extremes, an overload to the senses. And although it was early in the morning and you would expect the world to be sleeping it wasn’t. In fact there was a crowd of people just waiting for the newly arrived tourists. People offering tea and rides in their taxi’s, children asking for money and food. It is an overwhelming feeling after a day and a half of travel. We stood there looking less than fresh I’m sure waiting for our ride.

Soon we were driving to the MCC Center, through the quieter streets of Kolkata in the early hours of the morning. What I noticed was the people sleeping on the streets. I had heard that there was not enough room for the amount of people, but I didn’t fully understand. We passed down a street and realized these pile of blankets on the sidewalk had real people under them, people who laughed and cried, were hungry and full, who loved and hurt. One corner we passed was home to a couple. The man sat awake, while his wife curled up in a blanket slept. I wondered how he felt knowing that this was all he had for his wife, and if life allowed him dream beyond this.

We arrived to our clean, simple rooms in the MCC center and had a quick nap before heading out for the day. We scurried our tired bodies around this fascinating city. Learning the history, seeing the masses bathe in the river, busy themselves from place to place, live normal daily lives. We explored the sights and smells of the flower market and drank delicious, spicy chai from the street vendor. It was brilliant. At times I just wanted to stop and sit and take it all in.

Close to the end of our day of exploring this new city we ended up at the ‘Mother House’. Close to the MCC center there was a building on the corner of a busy street. Across the street was a whole line of squatters houses built with tarp and sticks. The shutters were a rusty orange colour and the building was a plane old white washed building. It housed a little sign in the corner proclaiming in a humble way that this was a Missionaries of Charity house. We got out of our cars and walked down the back alley to the side door where people come in and out. We stepped inside and a quiete peace was felt throughout our group. Here is was. The place she lived and worked. The place where the world learned what it meant to love. Here was the place of Mother Teresa.

I know the many of the words of Mother Teresa. I know her words on poverty and love and caring for the poor. I know she was a simple woman who lived on less. And yet in my mind I could never of imagined how this could be lived out when she was so internationally known, regarded, and loved. Fame was hers. She could have had it all.

We took off our shoes and entered a room where we reflected on the life and love of this servant. I then wandered over to the room that was a dedication to her life, a museum of sorts. It housed her worn, homemade sandals, her repaired white and blue sari, and a few of her dishes and writing utensils. Her words were written up and her life story told. And not on large plaques or fancy displays, no, they were written up on a simple computer, printed off, laminated, and pinned onto the wall. What a beautiful testament to all she believed in.

But what I realized as I was reading the story of her life and words of wisdom from her heart, was that Mother Teresa knew something that few of us have come to comprehend. Mother Teresa knew that Christ was in her. She knew that Christ was in us. She knew that where ever she went, whether across the street with the squatters, or across the world at a large gala, she knew that Jesus was in her, she was taking Him to the world, simply by being. It was that simple.

Colossions 1:27 says “Christ in you the hope of glory.” I have heard this verse many times in my life, but I saw it in a new way that evening. Christ is in me. Hard to believe at times, but unbelief doesn’t make it any less of a truth. So how do I live out this truth? How would my life be different if I understood, along with Mother Teresa, that the Christ living in me was the hope of glory. My life would change, it is changing, everyday I pray that this truth be revealed more and more in my life, because it is this truth that will change my life and the world around me.

I'm back...

2006-03-27T07:19:00.000-06:00

I got back a couple days ago. It was a great trip but all seems like a blur to me right now. It was amazing to meet so many people from different parts of the world. India is an overload to the senses and it made me very much want to explore this country some day. And Ethiopia.. well, I didn't think I would be so touched to be back in Africa. It really does get in your blood. The first few days everything made me smile. I have stories upon stories to tell and I will but I do't have the brain power to tell them right now. So I thought I'd post some pictures from the trip. My pictures aren't back yet, but these are some from the people that were on the trip with me...

Long time no write...

2006-03-02T17:52:00.000-06:00

Well, this is going to be short and sweet. I've been racing around all day trying to get everything together so I can leave for a few weeks. For those of you who don't know I've been given the opportunity to go on an AIDS/HIV Learning Tour with MCC. I'm pretty excited about the whole thing. We're going to India from the 5th until the 15th of March and then heading to Ethiopia until March 23rd, we'll finish up with a bit of debrief in London and then I'll be back home in lovely Saskatoon on the 25th. It should be quiete a whirlwind of a trip but I'm very excited! We are going to see the work that MCC is doing in these countries and to try to understand the AIDS pandemic that is sweeping not only Africa but starting to be quite a threat to India too. I think I have a lot to learn. I don't really know what to expect, I'm ready to be challenged and inspired by the lives of the people we meet and I'm excited to see how my work at home can be connected to these places. So if you think of it you can offer up a little prayer and feel free to e-mail me. There's just something special about personal e-mails when you are in a strange little internet cafe. I probably won't write in this blog for a few weeks but I am writing in a work blog so you can find it by going to the MCC Saskatchewan website (www.mcc.org/sask). So ya, that's pretty much what I have to say. I have a few more things to get done tonight so I should be on my way...

a lot can change in a week...

2006-02-11T10:58:00.000-06:00

As the title says it feels like a lot has been changing in the last week. And not really anything outward that I can put my finger on and say, 'aha! that's it!', but more I feel like my insides are changing and I think I'm really liking where God is taking them. I had the most wonderful time at Youth Advance last week-end, just seeing friends and being reminded that there is life beyond myself. And I started to think about how I have been unsettled and discontent and how this is just where that sneaky little devil wants me, cause then I stop my life and feel sorry for myself. Instead of moving forward and dreaming dreams and following the passions that I think God has placed inside me. I sit here and feel sorry about how I wish I had what I don't, and maybe then and only then I will be content. And to tell you the truth I'm pretty sick of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself and so with the gracious help of Jesus I am moving forward.

You see there's been this dream of mine to live in community for a couple years ago. I think it started at 40 days, but it's really grown deeper lately. And I'm feeling like now is the time to start in on this adventure. I'm not just talking about any old community but intentional, loving, learning, reaching, discipling, simple living, community. A community that moves into a neighbourhood to simply be Jesus in a community. In my head it is a place where I am challenged and stretched, and I learn much about God, myself, and love. My dream is to have this community in the Appleby Drive neighbourhood. God keeps opening door after door and I feel like this neighbourhood is ready for a group of loving Christ followers to be in the midst of all these people from different religions, countries, cultures, and backgrounds. I feel like it's ready for some lovin', it's ready to teach us plenty, and it's ready to accept us.

Anyway, I have many, many, many ideas and dreams of how this community would live. Here are just some ideas and themes I'm thinking this community should have (although I realize that there will be more people than myslef and so these are likely to morph and change with different ideas and personalities, but here's what I have now):
*hospitality to others
*common kitchen
*eat together
*simple living
*generousity to each other and community
*meet together
*worship
*have a mentor
*have people come to encourage
*encourage each other
*honesty
*prayer
*reach out
*be Jesus to community
*accountability
*being connected to a local church

So I don't know all the answers to why I'm thinking this way or all the in's and out's to how this would look. But I do know that there is something inside me that really wants to give this a try for a year. See what God has in store for us when we switch up our lives and search Him out and try to learn what it means to really love. Basically that's what I see it as; a big experiment in love and relationships. The two things that Jesus is all about.

More than any other post I've written I would love to hear some feedback on this whole idea of community. So if you've been thinking about this at all please do tell me, I'd love to hear.

feelings as of late

2006-02-03T00:09:00.000-06:00

I feel like I should write something but I just don't know what. It seems like life is going pretty good lately. I just got a new room-mate, I see my friends quiete a bit, I love my friends lots, I love my job, I even get to go on a trip to Ethiopia and India next month with my job, which is awesome :), I am around amazing people all day, I get to dream and people will listen, and yet there is just something inside me that is so restless. I don't know what it is. I seem to be getting glimpses of wisdom and God and I think I've just learned something that will propel (how do you spell that word anyway???) me forth into this joy and contentment and then I go back to my usual restlessness. Hmmm, I guess I've been getting alot of wise words lately and they always sound so great and like I want to take them and cling onto them, and then I forget them, or something about them doesn't cling. So I don't know, that's just what I'm feeling. So blessed with life and yet so restless and uncontent all at the same time. I don't get it.

Bigger than me...

2006-01-22T23:20:00.000-06:00

So today I was in church and had this revelation that life is much bigger than me. It was a familiar lesson that I have learned many times in my twenty-four years. And yet, it's one of those lesson's I so easily forget. I get so caught up in me, what I want to do, what I need to do, what I dream about, what I have, what I don't have. Lately it's been all that 'me' talk and much more in my life. But there I was standing in the front of the church on the worship team. I almost feel guilty getting up there and singing when I know my heart has been miserbly far from Jesus lately. But none the less there I was and we began singing 'I stand in awe of you'. It was requested by a man I vaguely know in my church. All I really know of him is that he has cancer right now. So we're singing away and all of a sudden I look to the back and there is Mr. M with his hands held out, singing these precious words and standing in awe. Tears welled up. I was inspired by this man who was in love with Jesus. No cynical questions, and bitter judgements, just awe struck love. So there up on stage in the middle of a song I've sung a million times I learned a lesson I'm sure to learn a million times. I realized that life in not about me, it's about love and Jesus and being in awe and in love. I get so cynical and selfish and question so much of what's around me. But what is it like when you face death straight on. When you know that Jesus is that close to you. What is it like to stand in awe in the midst of pain. So there you have it. I learned it again, and I'm sure I'll learn it again and again in the course of my years.

Kilimanjaro Kids

2006-01-16T19:10:00.000-06:00

question

2006-01-15T20:44:00.000-06:00

Does anyone know how I can post some of my pictures on this thing? I just can't figure it out. Thanks.

the gifts we've been given...

2006-01-15T20:14:00.000-06:00

So I've been thinking about the arts and creativity and the likes lately and asking why don't we use these gifts more. And by use them I don't just mean use them to unwind after a long day, and I don't mean just being creative and filling your own room with the stuff you have made, but really why aren't we stepping out and using these gifts that got has so freely given us. A few months ago I went to Jann Arden Concert with Dan and I thought about here was a women who sang for a living. She made lots of money cause she sings good. She get's to do what she loves all the time. So I started to wonder at what kind of art I would do if I could make a living at it. And I've started to ask people, and it's amazing at what I've heard people say. Sarah said she would dance, now I disin't even know Sarah wanted to dance or that she even used to. But back in the day when she used to dance there was this spark and something in her still wants to do it. So there's a question for you what would you do if you could do anything? I would take pictures. Most people that know me well know that I love taking pictures. I would walk around and take pictures of people and buildings and I would sell my pictures or make cards or something like that with them, and eventually after I had enough good ones I would want to make a beautiful coffee table book. And then when I wasn't doing that I would make banana bread and I would sell it to coffee shops and and small shops and I would sell all sorts of varieties, cranberry, cocunut, berry, and maybe evn brnch out into other breads. So ya, that's what I've been dreaming about lately. I've been thinking about my friends and how talented they all are and how we need to be expressing these talents. Erica writes beautifully, Amy is a natural poet, Bettina does music like nobodies mother, Simon writes in a this compelling way, Lisa has this way with quotes and finding beautiful inspiring words that are in the world, Aaron is one good photographer, and I don't know I could keep going and going with every single friend I have. It's just amazing the artistic abilities that are out there to express what deep within our beings. So I was thinking about this space and that I might try using it for expressing more of what God has blessed me and my friends with.

Here's a beautiful example of these wonderful gifts from my dear friend Amy:

'Her Song'
The heartache in her heart
Transposed to the same familiar song.
The words recited by memory:
'I'm just one, but I can be strong.'

She gazes upon the horizon,
She looks up into the sky.
She sees the rain clouds coming
And she asks the questions, why?

Why does she have to live in the cold world?
Why does this have to be done?
Why was this life chosen for her?
Why does she have to do it alone?

But who sings to no one?
Who's song is not heard?
Does not the mouth that's been opened
Make sounds more than just words?

When a dancer sways, are they not noticed?
They're feet a story tell?
Does not the step that's been taken
Begin a story that started out well?

She can shield away the raindrops
She can hide from the wind
She can pretend that life's not happening
And that eve hadn't sinned.

Or she could dance with the raindrops
And with the wind she can sing.
She can live the questions as they find her
And write music from her King.

AF - Jan '06

and with that good-night everyone!

christmas learnings

2006-01-03T22:39:00.000-06:00

Who knew I would want to write in this thing so badly and yet every time I come over here I end up not having the time and having to go somewhere else. So now I have 15 minutews before the Roastery closes and I thought, what the heck at least I have 15 minutes to write something. It probably won't sound as eloquant as I would like but at least it's something. This Christmas has been such a good one. One of just relaxing and spending time with people I love and just being. And in all the time to just be I think I'm really learning alot about myself and this life I've been having. And in a way I feel like I just need to stop what I've been doing and sit down with different people in my life and just talk. Catch up with what they're doing and just listen cause let me tell you I really don't. I've been reading this book which I sadly finished tonight and wish I could just read it over like 5 more times, and maybe I will, but whatever, I have been reading this book and just being super challenged to be real. Real with the people around me, but more than that real with myself cause if I'm not real with me than how can I be real with anyone else. So somewhere througout all these thoughts that have been swirling in my head I feel like I've started to learn some big things that I'm sure will take more time than this short Christmas break to unravel but none the less some good lessons, so here they are: I learned that for too long I tried to push or pull people into my own journey, not realizing that everyone has a journey of their own, and all journey's will look different. Instead I got all puffed up and decided that my journey was the best and if people would just join mine they'd be fine. But the thing was that's not how God works ( I don't think anyway). He's going to take everyone on their own special journey with their own lessons and their trials and joys and experiences, and where's the joy in everyone taking one journey. I learned that I don't want to just turn on my happy emotions and pretend that I know the answer, and that answer is just Jesus. Don't get me wrong I don't think that Jesus is not the answer in fact a very much think He is, but I think he has so much to teach me and so much to reveal to me about Himself, and I just keep putting Him in my 'everythings happy' box and I think there's more to him than that, I think He's in the questions and the lonliness and the grey areas and that He's ok with when I'm there and I'm trying to figure it out as long as I'm looking at Him when I'm asking these questions and not turning my back I think He's ok with it all and it's all part of the jounrney. I've learned that I love the arts. I want to play more piano, bake more banana bread, paint more pictures and grow more herbs. I want to create more. I think we should use our gifts more. The things that make us tick. I think He's in these gifts and we'll learn alot about our God if we step out and use what he's given us. I've learned I need to love more, and not love in a conditional sense like when people are how I want them to be. But I really need to love. I've learned that the Roastery is closing and I need to be done this thing. Sorry about the spelling mistakes and all things that don't make sense. I just needed to write in here and get a little of this on this blog. Much love and good-night...

thoughts of the day/week...

2005-12-15T22:09:00.000-06:00

So I have this journal, well actually I have had many in these past years that I have filled up and then put onto my shelf. And it's weird to look back at them and sometimes I just read them and remember what what was going on in life when I wrote certain things, but if you catch me on a bit of a cynical day I start to question myself. Like, was I really feeling that happy, or was I really feeling that great, or did I really come to a point where I felt better or was I just trying to make myself feel better. I don't know if this makes sense but that's kinda what I've been feeling like lately. I've been questioning what I've been feeling and getting kinda frazzled and unsettled. And I just don't want to be fake about it and pretend like I struggle with things, but not that hard and in the end I always feel at peace and better, cause I don't. And what is thinking about life and being real, and what is really looking our fears and struggles in the face and fighting for peace and joy? And can you do both? I'd like to think you can and that that is what being authentic is all about. But man, it's a hard balance.

Cause here's the thing, I've been feeling kinda lonely lately. Like I'm pretty sick of doing things by myself. Especially ministry related things. And I spent some time in a prayer room out in Dalmeny and I really spent some time praying about it and was really enocuraged by how Mary must have felt alone when she said yes to having Jesus (that's a whole other post). And I was feeling really good about just living life and going after God and letting Him do it. And then I packed up my stuff from the theater that night and still felt so lonely. And it's gone back and forth all week like this. And so my question is what is being real in a situation like this. Cause I can forget the loneliness and I can go about my life and find joy and learn lessons and just keep going. Or I can talk about these yucky feelings and sit and be sad too. And they are both very real things. So anyway, that's just how I'm feeling right now. Tomorow I could feel 100% different, who really know. I guess the whole thing is just a learning process in how to be authentic. But learning this is sure harder than one would expect.

Wow, how does it do this with only three questions????

2005-12-13T15:07:00.000-06:00

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Late at night

2005-12-09T17:02:00.000-06:00

It’s late at night...again. I know I should be getting to bed, but these times late at night are becoming quite regular for me and there’s something about it I’m kinda liking. I’m realizing how I do need time just to be by myself and unwind from the days activities and all the thoughts that whirl around my mind all day and if it means staying up late when I know I should be going to bed cause I need to get up for work the next morning then I guess I will. Besides, I just cleaned up my kitchen after ignoring it for the week, and my mom has lent me this awesome little Christmas tree she bought and I put lights on it and now it feels very Christmasy in my home. I followed my normal evening at home routine and lit some candles, then put on some soothing background music. After all that you just can’t crawl into bed. One needs to sit on the couch and enjoy this time.

Life is pretty good I have to say. My mind has been feeling like it’s going three billion miles a minute lately and I’ve been running around trying to catch up and I think I’m more tired now than I have been in a very long time. But tonight I feel like God is really blessing me with this life He has given me. To be able to drink tea with friends, and laugh at work, to know that I have a mom who is more than wonderful to me and even goes grocery shopping for me when I’m too busy to get there myself, and a sister who is so precious to me... and kids club, I know I’ve talked about this place already and I’ve only written three posts so this might be overkill on the kids club stuff. But consistently I’m reminded at how beautiful and faithful and what a provider and a source of love God really is through kids club. We just had our Christmas party this last week. There we were in the kids club ready to have this party and 40 kids all of a sudden showed up. It was overwhelming and I’m not going to lie to you it wasn’t the picturesque ‘fun party’ I had imagined in my head. But in the end we were all crammed into the living room and we were playing a rousing game of Simon Says, directed in the most wonderful way by Simon himself and I thought back to last years party. The apartment itself was a completely different place. Very little hung on the stark white walls, we were surrounded by a few toys we had gathered up and watched a very little tv for our Christmas movie. And now what a change. The walls are colourfully painted with hills and a sky, we have toys upon toys and decorations that hang in all sorts of random ways around our little place, we have a feeble little christmas tree that is packed with garland. Now you may walk in and think that it’s really nothing special. In fact you may walk in and think we lack alot, all our toys are second hand and we do with what we’ve got. But I’ve got to tell you that I walk in and see the amazing character of God. I have no idea how He has orchestrated this kids club. But a year later and we have a beautiful servant of Jesus who makes snacks for these kids every week, we have offers of libraries for our club, and a donation of hard earned money that will buy us a couch, we have people asking for our wish lists and offering to get us whatever they can, we have another servant who offers to take home our broken foose-ball table and fix it for the kids, we have the most faithful volunteers that come out and make time even when they don’t have to, who love on the kids despite even when it turns crazy in there, and the list just keeps on going. I don’t know, I get tears in my eyes when I think about it, and I could just keep on going but I’m realizing that I’ve written quiete a bit already and so I better wrap this up. So Merry Christmas, life is good, Jesus is faithful, and good-night...

ramblings of the day

2005-12-02T15:57:00.000-06:00

I keep thinking I'll wait until something exciting or profound happens to me and then I'll write something in this blog. But nothing 'news' worthy seems to be happening so I figure I'll start to write something and something should come out of this.

I guess I could write about my friends. I think that's been the biggest thing on my mind lately is how truly cool all my friends are. So it all started at the Bella concert. I stood at the back and watched my two great friends put on a wonderful show, and for some reason I was just so proud of them. Now I know that I have done nothing to add to their musical talent, and 'being proud' is something their parents do, but I was proud of them because of what they have done in life. I started to think of the gang in high school. Specifically the four of us that would go for Thursday night walks, and the rest of us that smoked tea, and hung out late at night at the playground, and I just marvelled at where God has all brought us, and who he has made us to be. Matt and Cam are rock stars :), Dana is married and living in this wonderful little house and making a difference in the town we gre up in, Wendy is also making a difference yet in completely different areas of our little town, Simon has been living by the mountains hiking and just loving the people around him, I heard Brendan has been travelling the world, and I realized that the world is right here in Saskatchewan and I get to live on Broadway and hang out with this world all at the same time. It's amazing to me at how we can all start out in the same little town, doing many of the same day to day things and yet throughout the years we change into very different people than we started as. None of us are the same, and yet how wonderfully creative God has been with our lives. I think it's safe to say that we are all in some part of our life doing something we love. Not one of us has given in to the status quo, we are all still dreaming of what we want, some of us have seen our parts of our dreams come true, some of us are still waiting for the dreams to be revealed. But in the end we know God is working and taking us places that we could never imagine. Cause look at our lives now. Could we have imagined this?

Sometimes when I think about high school and then I think about my friends from high school I wonder how we have come this far. And I think a big part of it was that people took the time during our lives to pour themselves into us. And the biggest example of this I think was Tim Epp. I still think about that guy and wonder how hard it must have been to hang out with a bunch of little, hyper, grade seven and eight kids, but he did it. He threw his all into is and pushed us spiritually. I remember how he took us on a missions trip to BC and during our time out there we went hiking and Dana and I were all tired and we were probably complaining the whole way but he wouldn't let us stop. He made us keep going and we reached this beautiful lake, and then he talked to us about perseverence. Ha, I remember being so annoyed, and yet knew it was quite appropriate. I guess what I'm trying to say is that somewhere deep in my heart there are lessons and learnings that others have poured into me and my friends all these years that we don't even know are in there and we are continually being blessed by the faithfulness of those who have gone before us.

Hmmm, that's funny. I guess I did have something to say. It's weird how you don't even know what you are thinking until you start to write. Anyway, I should get going. I have my staff Christmas party tonight and so I need to make some food for it. Until next time...

Appleby Drive

2005-11-23T21:38:00.000-06:00

I drove home from Medicine Hat today after spending a couple days with my dad and the crew out there and raced off to Kids Club. It was a good night with only around 15 kids which to me is the perfect number. It was small enough that I could just spend time with a few kids and not have to worry about the next room exploding into chaos. I love it when I can actually take time and just hang out with the kids. Like tonight I just spent some good quality time making a card with a little girl named Darla, teaching her how to spell out the words and colouring pictures. And then later someone came in and was asking about Kids Club and wanting to donate stuff and help us out (which is a whole other story of God's amazing provision for our little club), and little Fara came up and started talking to us and she got all shy and just buried her head in my side. It is times like these when I just love it. I love that we are connected with these kids. God is truly good to us in that little apartment.

Lately I've been looking around and wondering what plans God has for that place. For those of you who don't know Kids Club is a weekly kids drop in program that we started up in a neighbourhood called Appleby Drive. It is this beautiful place on the edge of Saskatoon, not beautiful because of it's surroundings, which is not too apealing unless you like to look out onto the beautiful sights of industrial Saskatoon, but rather it is beautiful because of the people. It is like the nations coming together. It is a neighbourhood where a lot of refugee families live when they first arrive in Saskatoon. So in our humble little three bedroom apartment, we have kids that span the globe, from Afghanistan to Sudan to Bosnia to Burma and back again to Canada. It really is brilliant, and I just feel drawn to this neighbourhood and the people who live there. I don't know how to explain it but there is something in me that just gets excited about this place. I drive up and all I see is the possibility of what could be out there. I've never had these strong feelings for a specific place or group of people before, and sometimes it scares me, cause what if life leads me elsewhere. I've always been someone that talks about my dreams before they are a reality, and usually it doesn't feel like a big deal cause they are just my dreams and really it's just a 50/50 chance that they'll work out, but this times feels different. Like these dreams require a leap of faith, and leaps are scary. And so sometimes I talk about my dreams for this place and the visions I have for what could be. But I'm always leary about really saying that I'm feeling "called" there, that I feel the strongest pull I ever have to this place and these people, cause what if I change my mind. And then the fears of logistics and where the people that will help are going to come from flood through my mind and I start to discredit these dreams I've been given. You know I could talk myself in circles and never get anywhere, but I'm trying to remind myself of what God has done so far.

Here it goes

2005-11-22T18:20:00.000-06:00

Well, if everyone else is doing it why not me hey. I figured it's about time I jumped on the bandwagon. I love checking up on peoples lives and getting a peak at what they've been up to, dreaming about, or just thinking about. And so really why not start a blog for myself. A couple of weeks my dear roommate moved on to the booming metropolis of Hepburn, which leaves me by myself. For the most part I really like it, but there are times when I just feel like talking. Really it's just how I was made I guess. I definitely process through talking it out, as Amy well knows. But now she is no longer available to hear my ramblings at the end of the day so I thought I would use this as place to process and ramble and just talk about life. Hope you like it, and I'm just going to say it, I also hope you comment :). Alright, here it goes...